Frito cheesecake layer cake

I feel like I owe you some explanation for this.

I know how you feel. Scrolling through your reader or inbox only to see a bizarre cake pop up, the result of someone who was clearly stoned or under the influence of some strange drug or maybe who was dared to spin a dessert wheel-of-fortune and combine the three resulting adjectives into one weird little bastard-cake. And it’s probably too much to deal with at whatever hour of the day you are reading this. I totally understand.

As such, I have elected to answer some questions you probably have floating around in your head right about now. For example:

Q: Who is your pot dealer?

Woah, it's hypnotoad. source

A: Nyah nyah, joke’s on you because recreational marijuana is still outlawed in my state. Though I’m sure Colorado would approve of this cake.

Q: Okay. What possessed you to make this—this thing?

A: Have you ever heard of chocolate-covered potato chips? Well, if you haven’t, let me show you.

Of course Trader Joe's, the king of glorified junk food, would have this. source

They are, supposedly, the ultimate salty-sweet combination, with all of the crispiness and crunchiness that you could possibly ask for. Maybe. I, personally, hate potato chips, but firmly believe that ALL PRAISE BE UNTO FRITOS, that they are the most deliciously addictive chips that you can find on this planet and no, nobody paid me to say that but it is simply a fact and I had to let you know.

So of course I thought it might be a good idea to make a salty-sweet dessert starring not potato chips but Fritos. But chocolate was too mainstream, so I went with cheesecake.

What, you’ve never thought to dip your chips in cheesecake? Filthy casuals.

Q: How do you make it?

Easy enough. The cake itself and the Frito crumb on the top contain ground Fritos, but the filling and frosting are just cheesecake-flavored with some blended cashews and whatnot.

Q: Okay. Then what does it taste like?

It tastes like heaven, goddamit! It’s a sweet cake, but not overly dense and rich, as my father—the lucky bloke for whom I made this cake after he ran yet another half marathon—tells me. The cake base is surprisingly fluffy, with only a hint of that deep-fried corn flavor and plenty of nuttiness from the almond extract—since, ya know, fritos, cheesecake, and almonds are such a flawless flavor trio. In the center, you will find that the cheesecake filling is not very sweet at all. I was tempted to use powdered sugar instead of maple syrup, which you can certainly do if you please; but as is, the layer is a nice contrast from the other components. As for the cheesecake frosting? Perfection. Gooey and tangy and fluffalicious as a frosting should be. The crunchy and perfectly salty-sweet Frito crumb, inspired by Momofuku Milk Bar’s classic crumb topping, is an awesome textural accompaniment.

You see that? I said “textural accompaniment”. That means this is some serious culinary shit right here. 

Mmmm yeah.

I just want you to know that you should not be afraid.

Embrace the Frito cake.

Here is the recipe.

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Frito cheesecake layer cake

Makes one small eight-inch two-layer cake

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Frito Cake

Adapted from Cute and Delicious

Ingredients

38 grams • Frito chips • 1.3 ounces

244 grams • nondairy milk • 1 cup

4 grams • apple cider vinegar • 1 teaspoon

140 grams • all-purpose flour • 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons

6 grams • baking powder • 1 ½ teaspoons

3 grams • salt • ½ teaspoon

150 grams • granulated sugar • ¾ cup

75 grams • coconut oil, melted and cooled slightly • 1/3 cup

4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon

2 grams • almond extract • ½ teaspoon

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8 inch cake pan and line with parchment. Set aside.

Place Fritos in a food processor and blend until the chips have turned into a fine meal.

In a small bowl, combine nondairy milk and apple cider vinegar. In a medium bowl, whisk together ground Fritos, flour, baking powder, and salt. Add in granulated sugar, coconut oil, vanilla and almond extracts, and milk-vinegar mixture. Mix just until smooth and well-combined.

Pour batter into cake pan and bake for about 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let cool for ten minutes before removing from pan to cool completely.

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Cheesecake filling

Ingredients

140 grams • cashews, soaked for a few hours and drained • 1 cup

2 grams • lemon juice • ½ teaspoon

7 grams • apple cider vinegar • ½ tablespoon

14 grams • coconut oil • 1 tablespoon

60 grams • maple syrup • 3 tablespoons

4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon

2 grams • almond extract • ½ teaspoon

Pinch salt

Instructions

Place cashews in a food processor and blend until as smooth as possible. Add remaining ingredients and blend until smooth. Set aside until ready to assemble cake.

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Cheesecake frosting

Adapted from The Busy Spatula

Ingredients

140 grams • nondairy cream cheese, softened • 5 ounces

56 grams • nondairy margarine, softened • ¼ cup

70 grams • cashews, soaked for a few hours and drained • ½ cup

180 grams • powdered sugar • 1 ½ cups

4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon

5 grams • lemon juice • 1 teaspoon

Pinch salt

Instructions

Before making frosting, blend cashews in a food processor until as smooth as possible. Set aside.

Place cream cheese and margarine in the bowl of an electric stand mixer and beat until fluffy. Add blended cashews and mix on medium speed until thoroughly combined. With mixer on low, gradually add powdered sugar until fully combined, then add remaining ingredients and whip until light and fluffy and amazing.

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Frito crumb

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook

Ingredients

40 grams • Frito chips, ground into a fine meal • 1.4 ounces

40 grams • all-purpose flour • ¼ cup

12 grams • cornstarch • 2 tablespoons

25 grams • granulated sugar • 2 tablespoons

2 grams • kosher salt • ½ teaspoon

14 grams • vegetable oil • 1 tablespoons

Instructions

Preheat oven to 250 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment; set aside.

Combine all ingredients except coconut oil in a medium bowl. Toss with oil until thoroughly combined. Spread mixture out on baking sheet and bake for about 20 minutes, or until crumbs are golden brown. Let cool completely on parchment before using.

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Assembly

Ingredients

1 recipe Frito cake

1 recipe cheesecake filling

1 recipe cheesecake frosting

1 recipe Frito crumb

Whole Frito chips to taste

Instructions

Cut Frito cake in half lengthwise so you have two thinner layers. If needed, cut off the domed top part of the cake. Place one cake half on a cutting board (or other frosting surface) and shmear that cheesecake filling all over it. Top with the other cake half. Frost entire cake with cheesecake frosting. Sprinkle Frito crumb on top and press whole Fritos around the sides of the cake for decoration. Slice and munch.

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SO FLUFFY.

Now, this here cake is completely vegan. I know, it’s difficult to believe, but just remember that Fritos, the chips of the gods, are vegan, as well as coconut oil, flour, sugar, and plenty of other junk food-y ingredients that can all come together whenever they please to form the most junk food-y of all desserts to grace this earth.

And it is glorious.

P.S. This is my 90^th post! Only ten more documents filled with drivel before the centennial! Mwahahaha...