There is a reason why they say breakfast is the most
important meal of the day. It is, as I have said before, the only meal
(besides dessert—which of course is also very important) where it is acceptable
to eat cake as the main dish. It is a baffling tradition, but one that we must
fulfill nonetheless—and what better way to fulfill it than to eat a bowlful of
cookies?
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| Murica. source |
Let’s ignore the fact that, theoretically, this would
produce the greatest cereal milk to
ever grace this earth.
I myself have never eaten the stuff—my evil parents refused
to let my brother and I consume such fare, relegating us to those grossly
flavored oatmeal packets since we were tiny, impressionable children. It’s a tragedy, really. What is childhood
without Frosted Flakes and Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms? Frankly, I don’t know
shit about those traditional kid foods, but that doesn’t stop me from lusting
after sugary cereals every time I tag along my mother to the grocery store.
Deprivation, I say. Post traumatic oatmeal disorder.
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| Just looking at this label makes me throw up a little in my mouth. Oh, the memories. source |