Saturday, September 20, 2014

Vegan Momofuku-inspired chocolate syrup

vegan momofuku-inspired chocolate syrup

Mmmkay. So I hope you didn’t get too used to that bomb-ass photography in last post (yes I have no shame and yes I will label certain samples of my own photography as “bomb-ass”—get used to it) because we are back to poorly lit, half-heartedly styled slivers of reality that barely portray what it is that I am trying to tell you how to make in each post. Yay! Cool!

I have exactly two pictures of this recipe. Here’s the other one:

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Vegan apple peanut butter cheesecake pie with sautéed apples

Vegan apple peanut butter cheesecake pie with sautéed apples

If you’ve been reading this here blog for more than one post, you may have noticed I like to include gram measurements—yes, grams, the unholy beacon of the metric system—and I even put them before the imperial measurements for some closet-Communist reason. In good ol’ Murica, we like our old-fashioned, inconvenient units of measure even 15 years after they cost us a 125 million dollar NASA orbiter. It’s not unreasonable, it’s just the American way of doing things.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Salty sweet pecan pie bars with bourbon caramel sauce

salty sweet pecan pie bars with bourbon caramel sauce

You see this? This is what that caramel was all about. This is the conclusion, the glorious result of drowning ourselves in Kentucky bourbon and melted sugar.

You see all that butter and sugar? Mmm yeah. This is that kinda life.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Vegan bourbon salted caramel sauce

vegan bourbon salted caramel sauce

Being the pretentious bibliophile that I am, I am rather partial to literary novels. Now, that categorization might seem a bit redundant (I know it did to me when I first heard of it) but it is actually a genre of novels which all seem to possess a few qualifications:

1. A lot of fancy writing; and

2. Not a lot of fun.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Salty sweet toffee cookies with dark chocolate glaze and candied pecans

salty sweet toffee cookies with dark chocolate glaze and candied pecans

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This is only a half-truth—it is the way through a woman’s heart as well, or at least that is what I have observed from my own experience. One might think that the heart is located in the stomach. I don’t know. I’ve never bothered to crack open an anatomy textbook.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Mustikkapiiraat (Finnish blueberry-filled breakfast buns) with vanilla glaze

Mustikkapiiraat (Finnish blueberry-filled buns) with vanilla glaze

It’s September. School’s started. The pools are closing. Leaves lose their chlorophyll. Starbucks whips out the pumpkin spice syrup. The weather gets cooler. All of those things are of varying degrees of importance, and all of them signify that yeah, the lazy days of summer and excessive air-conditioning are over. Pumpkin season is coming—and for many, it’s already arrived.

But what a more depressing sign of the impending cold seasons than to go blueberry picking and find that, alas, the pickin’s are sparser than your aunt’s bikini, and yes I’m sorry for that simile but I just got back from English class.  

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Vegan lemon blondies with thyme buttercream

vegan lemon blondies with thyme buttercream recipe

Everyone has great taste in music. Or at least, that’s what we all tell ourselves.

You should’ve seen the smug look on my face when I told my history teacher I preferred R&B and soul to that trashy pop trash, an example being—wait for it—Alicia Keys. Fuck, I’m classy. And of course the rest of the class—a very white, very prep school-worthy crowd—announced their loves for rap (Lil Wayne? Seriously?) and classic rock (le wrong generation, amirite?). Which was all very entertaining, since knowing a person’s musical tastes makes it far too easy to judge them. You like Led Zeppelin? I bet you’re, like, way better than me. Death Cab for Cutie? So sorry to hear about your case of the emo’s. Justin Bieber? Okay lemme just show you the door.