Coconut white chocolate blondies

For whatever reason, I have posted shockingly few bar desserts on this blog. Not because I dislike bars—in fact, one might say I enjoy them to a dangerous degree—but probably because they are a little too easy, and we all know I have expressed great disdain for fast, easy desserts in the past. I like desserts that are complex and multi-layered, special-occasion treats that require slaving over a hot stove for hours to make.

And you know what? That’s a damn shame. Because bar desserts are frickin awesome.

Healthier, gluten-free blondie brownie swirl bars with avocado frosting

The other day, while flipping through the latest Time magazine, a short segment on a new scientific study came to my attention.  Mostly because it included a mention of brownies. Brownies are a rare commodity in serious international magazines.

My interest having been piqued, I went ahead and googled it up to find a few longer articles on the study…only to find that, somehow, scientists had recruited quite a few volunteers to eat brownie bites—yes, brownie bites—and did not even think to ask me. How insulting. 

Strawberry rhubarb custard bars

When you’re depressed, one of the first things that goes away is your motivation. You will go from your own hero to zero faster than you can say “hey that’s a Katy Perry lyric”. You will find it awfully difficult to do basic things like brushing your teeth, mostly because that requires getting up and going into the bathroom and putting toothpaste on the brush and ugh so much work. Effort becomes the one true evil in the world (besides your own shitty self, obviously).

{Salted} dark chocolate Oreo-stuffed **white** chocolate chip cookie bars with coconut red velvet cheesecake swirls, {walnut} streusel, and *salty* caramelized ~drizzle~, plus sprinkles! #fmlfridays #cookingwithrandomshit #sponserd

These decadent indulgent delicious treats are sure to expand your waistline but they sure don’t taste skinny! They are filled with fresh delicious chocolate and canned pie filling, and taste exactly like the crumbs at the bottom of the cereal box. They are probably the best recipe you’ve never made. It’s a transcendent experience. Like watching Terminator 2 with no pants on and a ketchup stain on your white shirt. Or Cheeto dust. Fuck. I don’t even know.

*Heavy breathing*