Vegan ginger pear pancakes with chocolate syrup

I have a terrible affliction.

This dawned on me yesterday, when I hit “send” on an email to the local newspaper’s editorial department containing a strongly-worded essay on one issue or another, and subsequently realized that I, Baby June, must be a victim of casual narcissism.

This is not to be confused with narcissistic personality disorder, which is far worse and generally does not allow for any kind of self-awareness. No—casual narcissism, so I’ve termed it, is the mind-boggling idea that people actually care about my rather pedestrian opinions, that they give a shit about how I was compelled to watch the movie 300 last weekend in all of its bare-chested glory, or maybe that homework, well, you know. And yes, I just used my own personal blog to tell you that, goddamit!

How peculiar it is, really, that an otherwise sane person could think the world needs to know such mundane details. We all know my image as a kind and benevolent martyr of my own happiness has already been well-crafted. 

Making references already, are we? source

Casual narcissism is also well-known to be a cause of the Blog, a potentially fatal disease if left untreated. Who knows how many lives have been lost chronicling where we went out to dinner last night and how long we ran in the morning after to burn off those dirty dirty calories and the sense of virtue we felt while consuming our kabocha matcha superfood smoothies, complete with (literally) shitty photography and sweaty selfies? Think of the psychological trauma that occurs when we come up for air only to realize that the world actually doesn’t give a fuck if we post on time or Instagram once per day or whatever. Just think of it! Enough to give you a bit of a stroke.

And what about those editorials, eh? Writing long tangents about the state of the nation without a care for rhyme or reason? You guessed it—another pastime of the casual narcissist. Even worse that the newspaper has a habit of accepting them. Of the two times I’ve submitted editorials and had them published, the ensuing response was enough to make me want to write another dozen, which is of course not a good thing at all. We can’t encourage people like myself.

Even worse is the pull of certain *ahem* social websites like Facebook or Reddit, which offer bite-sized ego-boosts in the form of likes and upvotes. On Reddit, where upvotes are tracked in the form of karma points, the search for the upvote become almost siren-like, dictating what we say and how we behave and even how we feel. These magical internet points—indeed, they are the abode of the casual narcissist as well.

IT'S...IT'S BEAUTIFUL source

In acknowledging this little affliction of mine, I’ve observed how, exactly, it progresses over time:

1. Muddling along, blissfully unaware of the problem

2. Suddenly realizing that one is mildly delusional

3. Denying the accusation—“I’m different!”

4. Accepting the charge at long last, albeit grudgingly

5. Owning the fact that one is a casual narcissist, even bragging about it (god knows why)

6. Drowning in a wave of shame once one realizes that casual narcissism isn’t exactly brag-worthy

7. Developing a self-deprecating sense of humor

8. Slowly, ever so slowly, beginning to see what havoc this issue has caused for oneself and the world at large

9. ???

10. Profit!

Okay. Admittedly, I don’t know how it ends, but surely not well.

But admitting you’ve got a problem is the first step, eh?

All I’m saying is, the internet’s a hell of a drug. Only if I force myself not to care about internet points and Instagram posts will I recover from this spot of weakness.

Now. To assuage my guilt about not blogging for a few days, here’s a pancake recipe.

Ah! Isn't this photography just beautiful?

Last post, I showed you how to make Momofuku’s famous chocolate sauce (to be fair, almost everything they make is famous). Now, I give you an application: for breakfast.

Surprised? I should hope not. This is what we’re all about here.

These pancakes are, shockingly, somewhat seasonal, given their inclusion of fresh pears alongside the ginger and chocolate—a truly wonderful combination. You must try it. Really. My mother may turn her nose up at the sound of the word “ginger”, but...

well...

...just don’t be like that.

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Ginger pear pancakes with chocolate sauce

Serves one

Adapted from my mint chocolate chip pancakes

Ingredients

62 grams • white whole wheat flour • ½ cup

4 grams • baking powder • 1 scant teaspoon

1 gram • salt • 1/8 teaspoon

15 grams • brown sugar • 1 heaping tablespoon

61 grams • nondairy milk • ¼ cup plus 3 tablespoons

3 grams • apple cider vinegar • ½ teaspoon

7 grams • vegetable oil • ½ tablespoon

4 grams • freshly grated ginger • 1 teaspoon

One small pear, finely chopped

Momofuku-inspired chocolate sauce

Instructions

Whisk together white whole wheat flour, baking powder, salt, and brown sugar in a small bowl. Gently stir in nondairy milk, apple cider vinegar, vegetable oil, and ginger. Fold in pear. Fry on a well-preheated pan until golden brown on both sides. Top with chocolate sauce. Munch.

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See that shiny chocolate sauce? Mmm yeah.

Notice how, due to my homework-induced martyr status, the pictures here are just as dreary as those in my most recent post, illuminated by artificial light and hurriedly “styled” (if you could call it that). Do I have any shame? Hardly. These are delicious enough to make up for it.

Right?

^Right?