Momofuku-inspired vegan confetti cookies

There are a lot of annoying quotes and proverbs out there. These are the folly of motivational posters and angry newspaper editorials and weepy folk tunes and awkward mother-daughter talks; these are the phrases that have been embedded into our collective moral consciousness since childhood, whether or not they actually fit with our religion or reality in general. We tend to not think about these sayings too much, lest we discover that hey, maybe they don’t make sense worth a damn, and maybe we shouldn’t keep saying them time and time again.

Momofuku-inspired vegan birthday cake funfetti pancakes

I’m sure you—all three of you!—were all a bit befuddled by my last post. And that’s totally okay. It was a pleasure to write. And bake. Holy fuck that stuff was delicious. You couldn’t even taste the individual components (which I listed so helpfully in the title); it was more akin to an oversized Oreo bar covered in sticky caramel goo than…well, you know. A salted dark chocolate Oreo-stuffed white chocolate chip cookie bar with walnuts streusel, coconut red velvet cheesecake swirls and salty caramelized drizzle sauce, plus sprinkles!

Yeah. About that.

Let me just stay by saying that yes, it was satire (albeit pretty shitty satire). And no, it doesn’t mean I hate everyone. I’m just a bitch, that’s all.

There is a somewhat long and very pointless story behind that post; and as there is a pointless story behind most everything you probably don’t want or need to hear it. I don’t want to alienate more people than I already have.

You know... source

However, I will say that you don’t have to fear that I am launching smear campaigns against all the bloggers in an attempt to make my way up the food blogging hierarchy—no, that was mostly all fun and games and friendly bullying and I mean—what? Just…don’t take it personally. 

Please? With sprinkles on top?