Vegan buckwheat raspberry pancakes with cashew cheesecake sauce

It seems that these days, so many things “go viral” it is difficult to keep up with all of the new sensations and celebrities-in-the-making and baby animals who suddenly become more famous than you will ever be. One can only read so many breathless Buzzfeed articles before slamming one’s laptop shot and picking up the New York Times. At those moments, articles not ridden with with LOL’s and OMG’s are very, very refreshing. In their own way.


So the other day, while browsing through Facebook, I happened upon yet another article about the latest viral shit, or to be more specific Meghan Trainor’s debut single “All About that Bass”. Was rather proud of myself to have discovered the latest viral phenomenon before it was ancient history. If you haven’t yet happened upon it / watched the video, be proud that you have greater priorities than keeping up with the infinite news cycle of the internet and all of the contrived dramas that go along with it. Because holy shit, this drama was contrived.  

In the past few days and weeks, many articles have been written about this half-year-old song and its accompanying music video on venerable news websites like Today.com and The Huffington Post and Buzzfeed—well, they haven’t posted one quite yet, but I assume they will eventually. Can’t let a content generator like this pass them by.

If you watch the video, you will see why. It has this ground-breaking idea that hey, maybe size doesn’t matter, and maybe you can be sexy even if you are not exactly a size zero. The fact that people are shitting themselves complimenting the artist for her OMGsobrave message of peace and love and equality is kind of sad…but that of course has no bearing on the quality of the song. Personally I love it. It’s, like, objectively awesome.

#moresassthanyou

However, it seems like a lot of people are not focusing on the quality of the song but on how much it aligns with their previously held beliefs. You will see there are plenty of comments complaining that Miss Trainor refers to skinny bitches as, well, “skinny bitches”—which is of course horrendous oppression and should be righted immediately. How dare she create a piece of art that does not totally worship your trim physique! Blasphemy.

It also seems that people do not like to take the time to read and understand the lyrics of a song before they trash it. The stanza in which the genocidal phrase “skinny bitches” is used also includes these words, which, as it happens, have a meaning of their own whether you like it or not:

“Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey!

No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat,

But I'm here to tell you that,

Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!”

The source.

You know how thin people are always complaining how fat they are? Yes. I find it quite disturbing. Apparently Miss Trainor is aware of that as well and is ever so kindly reminding them that they are fine just the way they are.

But thin people can be bitches too. Just saying.

Yet another qualm folks have had with this extremely controversial song is the fact that she uses the sexual appeal of ass (c’mon, don’t act like you thought she was actually talking about the clef) as a reason to justify having a few more curves than a prepubescent teenage boy. Which is stupid, because I don’t think Miss Trainor was trying to write the feminist anthem of the summer. Again, people trying to fit a song to their pre-aligned beliefs.

Anyway.

That was pretty dumb.

This is why I need to get away from the internet; it always ends in tears and frustration and a lack of hope in humanity. 

BUT THEN THERE ARE PICTURES LIKE THIS! source

But you know what we shouldn’t get away from?

*Dramatic pause*

PANCAKES.

I just cannot get enough of them. There are far too many flavors to explore, far too many variations to create. Maybe I should rename this blog “How to Philosophize with Pancakes”. Hmmmm. Now that’s a good idea.

HOLY SHIT JUNE HAD A GOOD IDEA! source

Raspberries, as you may be aware, are in season now. That means June has begun to consume far too many of them via hand. Which means our supply of fresh raspberries is rapidly dwindling without allowing for a few raspberry-infused baking projects to take place. Which means my fingers may be permanently stained red. But that’s okay.

So using the few (slightly aged) raspberries left at the bottom of the bowl, I whipped up some buckwheat pancakes and a simple cashew cheesecake-flavored sauce for a fancy yet easy breakfast. Also because I wanted pancakes. And buckwheat pancakes with raspberries and cheesecake sauce seems to alleviate that desire. Pancakes are cool like that.

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Raspberry buckwheat pancakes with cashew cheesecake sauce

Makes one serving of pancakes, plus several servings of cheesecake sauce

Ingredients

Pancake batter (adapted from Katy’s Kitchen)

60 grams • buckwheat flour • ½ cup

3 grams • baking powder • ½ teaspoon

122 grams • nondairy milk • ½ cup

7 grams • oil of choice (e.g. coconut, canola, etc.) • ½ tablespoon

7 grams • applesauce • ½ tablespoon

2 grams • vanilla extract • ½ teaspoon

Handful of raspberries

Cheesecake sauce (adapted from The Vegan Cookbook Aficionado)

140 grams • cashews, soaked for a few hours and drained • 1 cup

2 grams • lemon juice • ½ teaspoon

7 grams • apple cider vinegar • ½ tablespoon

90 grams • full-fat coconut milk • ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons

60 grams • maple syrup • 3 tablespoons

4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon

Pinch salt

Instructions

To make cheesecake sauce, place all ingredients in a food processor or powerful blender and blend until smooth. This will take a minute or two. Easy as that.

To make pancakes, combine buckwheat flour and baking powder in a small bowl. Stir in nondairy milk, oil of choice, applesauce, and vanilla just until combined. Fold in raspberries.

Fry on a greased, preheated pan until browned. Top with copious amounts of cheesecake sauce. Yum.

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I know those raspberries look sorta sad. I know.

These are probably some of the simplest yet tastiest pancakes I’ve ever made. The buckwheat pancakes literally have 6 ingredients (or only 5, if you opt to use all oil or all applesauce instead of half-and-half like I listed in the recipe), not including the raspberries or any other add-ins you may want; and surprisingly enough, the cheesecake sauce doesn’t require much effort beyond soaking and draining a bunch of cashews. And man that sauce is good. Thick and creamy and slightly tart from the lemon juice and (most importantly) sweet. Better than maple syrup, maybe.