Anyway. That was wild, wasn’t it? Making a totally squash-free—even *gasp* gluten-free—blueberry crisp? Ah yes. It’s good to be adventurous.
I don’t really have anything to say today. Mostly because I am 1,000 words behind on mah berk, and that is making me sad and want to procrastinate even more.
In case you were wondering, no, I do not have any shame in regards to that recipe title. One thing just led to another, as they tend to do in my kitchen, and soon I was not only stuffing my chocolate mocha zucchini cupcakes with cheesecake, but also smearing on chocolate mocha frosting and drizzling on some peanut butter glaze. It began with the idea of oh! I should make mocha zucchini cupcakes! Then, oh! I should stuff them with cheesecake! And then I went and asked my mom if there was anything missing, and she said, “Peanut butter”, which, total genius, so of course I went ahead and added that.
The only issue is that I’m not sure if coffee and peanut butter go together. And if they do, in fact, go together, then why hasn’t anyone made a peanut butter-flavored latte yet? Dunkin Donuts, I am waiting.
|We already have cookie dough. WHY NOT PEANUT BUTTER, MOTHERFUCKERS?! source|
Do know that I displayed a remarkable amount of restraint in not stuffing these cupcakes with cookie dough. Because June Baby does love her cookie dough.
It hardly matters, though, since the mocha frosting here is just incredible. So fluffy and easily pipeable and filled with chocolate espresso flavor, mmmm... I’m not really sure how any of it got on the cupcakes. Make it at your own risk.
|Er. Meh. Gerd. Kerpkahks.|
Okay. I’m done for today. Here’s the recipe.
Cheesecake-stuffed mocha zucchini cupcakes
Cheesecake filling (adapted from Veg Angela)
226 grams • nondairy cream cheese (e.g. Tofutti), softened • 8 ounces
30 grams • fresh lemon juice • 2 tablespoons
Zest of half a lemon
Cake batter (adapted from Speedbump Kitchen)
312 grams • all-purpose flour • 2 ½ cups
20 grams • cocoa powder • ¼ cup
4 grams • baking soda • 1 teaspoon
5 grams • baking powder • 1 teaspoon
3 grams • salt • ½ teaspoon
6 grams • espresso powder • 2 teaspoons
183 grams • nondairy milk • ¾ cup
5 grams • apple cider vinegar • 1 teaspoon
4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon
113 grams • nondairy margarine (substitute up to half with coconut oil), softened • ½ cup
350 grams • granulated sugar • 1 ¾ cups
108 grams • vegetable oil • ½ cup
300 grams • zucchini, shredded and squeezed • 2/3 cup
80 grams • nondairy chocolate chips • ½ cup
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease 24 cupcake tins and set aside.
To make cheesecake filling, simply beat ingredients in an electric stand mixer until fluffy and completely combined.
To make cake batter, start by whisking together all-purpose flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and espresso powder until combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together nondairy milk, apple cider vinegar, and vanilla.
In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, beat nondairy margarine and granulated sugar until lightened in color and fluffy. Add vegetable oil and milk mixture and beat until combined. Slowly add in flour mixture just until combined, then fold in zucchini and chocolate chips.
Fill each cupcake tin about a third of the way with batter. Add a spoonful of cheesecake filling, then add more batter until the tin is about two-thirds full. Bake for about 25 to 30 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool for ten minutes before removing from tins. Let cool completely before frosting.
Adapted from this cake I made
226 grams • vegan buttery spread, softened • 1 cup
54 grams• cocoa powder • 2/3 cup
400 grams • powdered sugar • 3 1/3 cups
80 grams • nondairy milk • 1/3 cup
8 grams • vanilla extract • 2 teaspoons
4 grams • espresso powder • 1 teaspoon
Place vegan buttery spread in the bowl of a stand mixer and whip until light and fluffy. Add cocoa powder and mix well. On low speed, gradually add powdered sugar. Pour in milk, vanilla, and espresso powder and whip until light and fluffy. Slather on those cupcakes.
Peanut butter glaze
Adapted from these pancakes I made
160 grams • maple syrup • ½ cup
128 grams • peanut butter (or other nut butter) • ½ cup
72 grams • coconut oil • 1/3 cup
10 grams • vanilla extract • 2 teaspoons
Sea salt to taste
Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Whisk until ingredients are melted together, about three minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely before using.
|Does you like my plates?|
After making these kerpkahks, I am no longer so sure if cookie dough really is the superior cake stuffin’. Perhaps cheesecake is where we can find true love. Perhaps—oh, fuck it; I’m not getting tried for dessertion in the face of the enemy.
|Haha geddit? DESSERTion? Just a little...?|
In making these, you will not, however, be abandoning your true spiritual roots in the Church of Peanut Butter. No need to fear in that realm of dessertlandia.
Okay bitches, I’m out.