That title sorta reminds me of those extreme satirical dessert bar thingys I made a few months ago. You know, the peanut butter chocolate cookie dough-studded dark cocoa brownies with candied almond crust, banana pudding swirls, and hazelnut chocolate drizzle, plus sprinkles, and also those totes delish salted dark chocolate Oreo-stuffed white chocolate chip cookie bars with coconut red velvet cheesecake swirls, walnut streusel, and salty caramelized drizzle, plus sprinkles. How could you forget?!
Hot damn, those were fun times.
Okay, done with the existential angst—I think I was trying to write about how...yeah, um, about that title. How it is so un-ironically ironic and overly-descriptive and possessing solid proof that I, like every other food blogger ever, have an SEO fetish. And that’s okay, I think, because cookie dough.
That’s me, lifting up my conductor’s baton to begin the chorus of “LOL I lurve cookie dough too! Huehuehue!” Our song shall reach every corner of the earth and permeate every anti-cookie dough communist crusader’s cave hideout with the force of a thousand atomic bombs and decimate every shred of dissent against the power of raw butter! and sugar! and flour! Ye shall be converted, those who think that chickpeas taste like cookie dough (side note: are you all right?)!
I may mock those overly wordy recipe titles with a thousand different words and flavors and ingredients, but to be honest, I’m just jealous. Me sitting here in my basement munching Fritos and drinking Diet Coke, it’s hard to relate to someone who, being an adult, has the power to make five million-layer desserts day in and day out. You don’t know how hard it was to go on living after I made those insane zillion-layered bars. I was banished to the darkest corner of the earth and given a five-year ban on Internet and brownie bar making, and eventually fell into a shit-colored pool of depression that put Queen Victoria’s legacy to shame. To shame! My will, I’m afraid, is not strong enough to endure such radical dessert endeavors.
But this. I shall survive this, I know, through the power of cookie dough.
There is nothing quite so captivating to the taste buds as the combination of creamed butter, sugar, and flour with a hint of vanilla and a pinch of salt. Add chocolate chips, and by god you could sell this stuff in dark alleys for the price of a diamond ring.
But I wouldn’t sink to such desperation. See, Baby June is a benevolent and generous being, handing out these recipes like candy from a parade float or whatever or I’ve been doing too much writing lately, I can’t think of any good similes here.
You will notice that this is an “ice cream cake”, by definition, given that its base is not actual cake but the cold stuff—a recipe Top with Cinnamon posted recently, and one which I knew I absolutely had to make after seeing it. But do not be fooled. It’s mostly just a bunch of cookie dough, with a bit of ice cream as filler. Cos that’s how we roll here at How to Philosophize with Cake.
Even better, it uses a chocolate crust with homemade vegan chocolate wafers, as I posted earlier today. Just to make extra work for yourself.
|Do I see some ice cream in my cookie dough?|
This dessert may be complicated, and it may have more ingredients than any cake has a right to have, but it can all be excused with those two little words: cookie dough. Yes, indeed.
Here it is, the recipe for the most beautiful ice cream cake you will ever taste:
Chocolate cookie dough ice cream cake with chocolate wafer crust and cookie dough frosting
Chocolate wafer crust (adapted from Fifteen Spatulas)
114 grams • coconut oil, melted • ½ cup
Ice cream (adapted from Top With Cinnamon)
60 grams • chia seeds • ¼ cup
407 grams • nondairy milk • 1 2/3 cups
10 grams • cocoa powder • 2 tablespoons
60 grams • maple syrup • 3 tablespoons
4 grams • vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon
28 grams • unsweetened baking chocolate, melted • 1 ounce
96 grams • medjool dates, pitted • 4 medium
Cookie dough (adapted from these crazy bars)
113 grams ● Earth Balance, softened ● ½ cup
165 grams ● brown sugar ● ¾ cup, packed
8 grams ● vanilla ● 2 teaspoons
3 grams ● salt ● ½ teaspoon
125 grams ● all-purpose flour ● 1 cup
30 grams ● nondairy milk ● 2 tablespoons
168 grams ● nondairy mini chocolate chips ● 1 cup
Frosting (adapted from Handle the Heat)
226 grams ● nondairy margarine, softened ● 1 cup
160 grams ● light brown sugar ● ¾ cup
156 grams ● all-purpose flour ● 1 ¼ cups
8 grams ● salt ● 1 ¼ teaspoon
4 grams ● vanilla extract ● 1 teaspoon
45 to 60 grams ● nondairy milk ● 3 to 4 tablespoons
To make chocolate wafer crust, combine melted coconut oil and chocolate wafers in a food processor. Combine thoroughly, then dump into the bottom of a spring-form pan and press down on crust with your fingers. Chill crust until needed.
To make cookie dough, place Earth Balance and brown sugar in the bowl and electric stand mixer and beat until smooth and creamy. Add vanilla and salt. Slowly add flour under a dough forms, then add milk and beat until thoroughly combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Using your fingers, make little balls of cookie dough and place them in a bowl. Chill until needed.
To make ice cream, whisk together all ingredients (under “ice cream”) except medjool dates in a large bowl. Add dates and let chill for at least four hours, preferably overnight. After chilling, place in a blender and blitz until completely smooth, being sure to get all those chunks of date out there. The mixture should be smooth and creamy.
Pour into an in ice cream maker and process according to manufacturer’s directions. Spread the completed ice cream over the Oreo crust. Swirl in balls of cookie dough and smooth out the surface of the ice cream. Place in freezer.
To make cookie dough frosting, place margarine and brown sugar in the bowl of an electric stand mixer and beat until light and fluffy. Add all-purpose flour, salt, and vanilla and combine once more. Drizzle in nondairy milk and beat until beautiful and frosting-like.
To finish, remove ice cream cake from spring form pan and frost with cookie dough frosting (and sprinkles, if that’s your thing). Serve that bish up ASAP. Store in the freezer if you don’t finish it all at once (though I doubt that will happen).
|Observe these swaths of creamy cookie dough frosting! Dream of bathing in such deliciousness!|
Tasting this “ice cream cake” may cause you to cry out in joy. Tears may fall. You might sink to your knees and plead that you are not worthy. But do not fear; you are worthy, because every human being deserves a little bit of cookie dough in their life.
Call it cookie dough for overachievers.