I imagine you are mighty sick of seeing zucchini-infused baked goods by now. I know I am. My mother won’t let me make anything unless it has zucchini in it, which is quite inconvenient as I’ve never heard of zucchini macarons, or zucchini chiffon cake, or whatever?
Wait. Not trying give you any ideas. If you care about the children, you’ll not make either of those things.
|My god-awful attempt at an action shot.|
You see that up there? That’s me, June, actually giving a fuck about her photography. She never gives a fuck, so this is one earth-shaking event.
Actually, giving a fuck has been a trend lately on this blog, especially considering this little shot I took a few posts ago:
|Wow. Um. Not sure what to think.|
I mentioned this on Instagram, but I’ll mention it again: does anyone really cut their pancakes like that? Like, does anyone just whip up a batch of pancakes and then carefully cut through the stack to make a nice little layer cake-like slice and then pierce it with their fork and arrange it carefully just for the near-orgasmic satisfaction such a cute presentation yields before diving in like a carb-starved savage? I highly doubt it.
But among food bloggers, the proportion of pancake-cutters to non-pancake-cutters is much higher than among the plebeian public. In fact, scrolling through my breakfast board on Pinterest I was able to find a plethora of examples, just to prove my point:
|For maximum carrot cake-ness, I presume? source|
Case one: carrot cake pancakes. Through to be honest I would be more likely to just eat regular ol’ fatty fat carrot cake for breakfast.
|You can tell this is unrealistic because there is only one gallon of syrup instead of two. source|
Case two: s’mores pancakes. I never knew s’mores could be so high-maintenance, goddammit.
|Now that is an action shot. source|
Case three: pumpkin apple butter pancakes. Fall! Pumpkin! Wheeeee!
|WHY IS IT SO PERFECT?! source|
Case four: banana oat pancakes. Don’t be fooled by the cake-esque exterior; that is practically a salad.
|We get it; chocolate pancakes. source|
Case five: chocolate pancakes. Okay that might actually be cake but whatever.
|What are you, a plebe who doesn't cut open your pancakes like this?! source|
Case six: cinnamon roll pancakes. This travesty is excusable because, glaze. Obviously.
|Is that butter and sugar crumbled on top of those pancakes? source|
Case seven: pumpkin cinnamon streusel pancakes. What was the point I was going to make? Forgot when I spent a few hours drooling over that streusel. The struggle is real, I suppose.
Anyway. I’m done with list-making for today; hopefully this has illustrated why I am such a bitch given that I get all riled up by a stack of pancakes, for fuck’s sake, and also how superficial and blatantly hive mind-ish the food blog world is. I mean, what world is this where true pancake success can only be achieved with not just a perfectly sliced wedge of stacked pancakes but also a mid-pour maple syrup action shot? Not a world I want to live in.
|If you need me, I'll be hiding out on Mars somewhere.|
So why am I talking about this nonsense as a preamble to the pancake du jour? No idea. As I’ve said, my brain is fried due to book-writing and I have another thousand worlds to write today and holy shit I am way behind BRB writing about fairy tales and handsome princes and passionate kisses and stuff.
So here is the recipe:
Vegan zucchini bread pancakes
Makes about two servings of pancakes
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen
50 grams • bananas, mashed • ¼ cup
20 grams • olive oil • 1 ½ tablespoons
15 grams • brown sugar • 1 tablespoon
30 grams • nondairy milk • 2 tablespoons
1 gram • apple cider vinegar • ¼ teaspoon
1 gram • vanilla extract • ¼ teaspoon
65 grams • all-purpose flour • ½ cup
1 gram • salt • 1/8 teaspoon
3 grams • baking soda • ½ teaspoon
3 grams • cinnamon • 1 teaspoon
128 grams • shredded zucchini, squeezed out • 4.5 ounces
In a medium bowl, whisk together bananas, olive oil, brown sugar, nondairy milk, apple cider vinegar, and vanilla extract until combined. Stir in all-purpose flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg just until combined. Fold in zucchini.
Fry on a pre-heated skillet until bubbles form on the edges of the pancakes. Flip and cook all the way through. Drown in maple syrup. Munch.
|#naturalglow #nofilter #LOLnope|
Thanks to Smitten Kitchen’s dutiful recipe testing and always-trustworthy stamp of approval, I have for you today a recipe that I can stand behind with both feet firmly on the ground. I think? These pancakes are really good, if that helps. The cinnamon is a must, and I found the olive oil lent it a nice depth of flavor you don’t get in your average loaf of zucchini bread. I also recommend squeezing out the zucchini as done in this zucchini bread recipe to ensure that the pancakes are not gloppy and gross—and even then, thinner pancakes are better, as they cook through more consistently.
And you will, of course, need to make this recipe over and over and over again until all. the. goddamn. zucchini. is. gone.
Which may take a few years or so, but it will be worth our while.