Vegan strawberry coconut sweet rolls with Grand Marnier glaze

Although I’ve not had much experience with it during my brief life, I’ve always been fascinated by booze. Beer, wine, liquor, all of those strange and unique drinks made from odd ingredients with odd flavors, filled with that mysterious thing called alcohol. Why do people like it so much? What is the appeal of those musty-smelling bottles anyway? What is alcohol like? Does it hurt? How does it feel getting drunk? Aren’t you embarrassed by your behavior? Why are you acting like this? Are you okay? Can you hear me? Why are you crouching under the table like that?

Dark chocolate strawberry banana bread muffins

Arguments about whether a plant is a fruit or a vegetable (or legume or whatever) are largely akin to arguments about whether or not something is actually ironic: most of the parties involved come across as pretentious know-it-all assholes, and no one really knows what they’re talking about.

Don't stop, Mr. Oatmeal. source

Sweet curry pancakes with mango chutney

Did you read that title up there? Did you do a double take, blink several times, and squint at the screen in bemused befuddlement?

Momofuku-inspired vegan birthday cake funfetti pancakes

I’m sure you—all three of you!—were all a bit befuddled by my last post. And that’s totally okay. It was a pleasure to write. And bake. Holy fuck that stuff was delicious. You couldn’t even taste the individual components (which I listed so helpfully in the title); it was more akin to an oversized Oreo bar covered in sticky caramel goo than…well, you know. A salted dark chocolate Oreo-stuffed white chocolate chip cookie bar with walnuts streusel, coconut red velvet cheesecake swirls and salty caramelized drizzle sauce, plus sprinkles!

Yeah. About that.

Let me just stay by saying that yes, it was satire (albeit pretty shitty satire). And no, it doesn’t mean I hate everyone. I’m just a bitch, that’s all.

There is a somewhat long and very pointless story behind that post; and as there is a pointless story behind most everything you probably don’t want or need to hear it. I don’t want to alienate more people than I already have.

You know... source

However, I will say that you don’t have to fear that I am launching smear campaigns against all the bloggers in an attempt to make my way up the food blogging hierarchy—no, that was mostly all fun and games and friendly bullying and I mean—what? Just…don’t take it personally. 

Please? With sprinkles on top?

Vegan pannukakku (Finnish baked pancakes) with blueberry chia compote

As I write this, millions of Americans are attending Memorial Day parades and visiting the gravestones of fallen soldiers and remembering in their hearts the valiant efforts of our armed forces to protect our nation. For one day, millions will put aside their differences—whether political, religious, or otherwise—and acknowledge our bravest citizens with heartwarming songs and belly-aching barbecues. Every hot dog eaten symbolizes the freedom we share and the blood put forth to preserve it. A noble tradition, it is, to have a day set aside for these patriotic exercises.

Washington dreamed of a nation where all men could freely enjoy hot dogs. source