Hey y’all! It’s June, and we’re entering the first day of Oreo Madness! Now I’m sure you’re wondering what, exactly, this cheesily-named set of blog posts will entail—but never fear, for that shall be cleared up soon enough.
The solution? Oreos!
|Mmmm, they'll love these! source|
No! Not that! Anything but that!
|Not those either! source|
Not those either! Goddamit. Anyway, since it seems my image game is a bit off today, I’ll just tell you how shit went down this Christmas: I opened a cookbook (the Bouchon Bakery Cookbook, specifically). I thought of some flavors. I made three different kinds of frosting. I taped together three shitty little cardboard boxes out of an old shoebox lounging in my closet. I handed out the boxes. My family was not surprised. Why were they not surprised? Well, they had seen me making the Oreos, which made it really easy to guess what they were getting Christmas morning.
And now, with everyone having made their judgments of my Oreo-making skills, I can distribute the recipes to you lovely blog-reading denizens. It’s the circle of life!
|Fa la la la la, la laaa laaa laaa!|
My mother, eater of half bananas and bundt cake aficionada, happens to be a huge fan of Trader Joe’s peppermint Jo Jo’s. This is not a problem.
|Especially these. Totally not a problem. source|
Nope, no problems to see here.
|MOVE ALONG PEOPLE! source|
I distinctly remember checking the ingredients list of these peppermint Jo Jo’s and finding that no, they do not contain any animal products; but no matter, for these are truly vegan and have the added benefit of being homemade! Because that’s always a plus.
They are, of course, much better than the store-bought version, mostly because they are infused with the genius of Sir Thomas Keller (not formally a Sir, but colloquially so). The chocolate shortbread is taken directly from the Bouchon Bakery Cookbook, a rich little cookie with loads of chocolaty flavor from the alkalized cocoa. I might mention that the recipe distinctly calls for Valrhona, but we all know we’re too poor for that kind of thing. Fuckin’ “luxury chocolate”.
Anyway. Here’s the recipe.
Vegan chocolate shortbread
Adapted from the Bouchon Bakery Cookbook
259 grams • all-purpose flour • 1 ¾ cups plus 1 ½ tablespoons
87 grams • alkalized cocoa powder (aka Dutch process) • 1 cup plus 1 ½ tablespoons
1.6 grams • baking soda • 3/8 teaspoon
6 grams • kosher salt • 2 teaspoons
226 grams • coconut oil • 8 ounces
161 grams • granulated sugar • ¾ cup plus 1 tablespoon
Sift together all-purpose flour, cocoa powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Whisk to combine.
Place coconut oil in the bowl of an electric stand mixer and beat until smooth. Add granulated sugar and beat until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add flour mixture in two additions, mixing for about 15 to 30 seconds after each. Then mix until the dough comes together.
Turn dough out onto a work surface. Pat together into a 6-inch square block. Cover in plastic wrap and chill for an hour.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Take out dough and place between two sheets of parchment paper. With a rolling pin, pound the top of the dough, working from the left to right, to begin to flatten it, then turn the dough 90 degrees F to prevent it from cracking as it is rolled. Roll out to a thickness of 1/8 inch.
Cut out one-inch circles of dough (or whatever size / shape you wish, but note that you will have different baking times). Transfer to baking sheets lined with parchment paper, spacing each circle about ½ an inch apart, and freeze for a couple minutes. Remove from freezer and bake for 10 minutes. Let cool on baking sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Be sure the cookies are completely cooled before frosting.
Vegan candy cane Oreos
1 recipe chocolate shortbread (see above)
75 grams • candy canes • 5 large
226 grams • coconut oil, softened • 8 ounces
480 grams • powdered sugar • 4 cups
60 grams • nondairy milk • ¼ cup
1 gram • peppermint extract • ¼ teaspoon
Place candy canes in a food processor and grind until a fine powder is formed. Set aside.
Place coconut oil in the bowl of an electric stand mixer and beat until smooth. Add powdered sugar; beat once more. Add about ¾ of the candy cane powder (aka fairy dust), nondairy milk, and peppermint extract; mix until light and fluffy.
Scoop frosting on the underside of one chocolate cookie and sandwich another on top. Munch.
|Such beautiful little stacks. All of them mine.|
In favor of cake it seems that I have let the “cookie” category of this blog languish a bit. But no longer. In anticipation of this revolution, some other cookie recipes for you.
Salted double chocolate caramel-stuffed cookies. This blog post has been a hit over the holidays, and for good reason.
Sweet potato cheesecake thumbprint cookies. A bit odd-looking, but very delicious.
Momofuku-inspired confetti cookies. Very celebratory. Sprinkles are like that.
Strawberry oatmeal cookie cups with lemon buttercream. Frosting on cookies—who doesn’t want that?