Vegan eggnog latte from scratch

Hey, ho! Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is.

It’s my birthday! I, the eternally dignified June Burns, was pushed out of my mother’s vagina many years ago on this date, and as a consequence I am forced to feel like an old fogy this time each year. A week after this Very Important Milestone in my life, we will also be celebrating the birthday of this verbal shitpile I call a blog. I know, right? Time flies.

In honor of the occasion, I’ve put together a quick survey for you guys. I’ll be collecting responses between now and January 17^th, the day of my blogoversary, when I’ll tear off the veil of secrecy and reveal to the world just what everyone thinks of me.

It will probably be anticlimactic. But anyway. Give me your best shot; I can take it.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SURVEY.

I feel like since it is my birthday I ought to have a fancy cake prepared for you all today—but alas, this post will just be the tale of a simple (but very delicious) eggnog latte. True, I have made some cakes recently (between my dad’s birthday and various Christmas celebrations, I’ve made more than a couple), but I am saving these recipes for the right time. And that time is not now.

I can tell you are all very sad.

But do not fret, for this latte will make everything better. It is the culmination of my obsession with lattes and my deep sadness that Starbucks’ eggnog latte is, rather unsurprisingly, not vegan. It was a cold, snow-covered winter day that I set out to make this beverage, filled with homemade eggnog and strong coffee (since I’m a pleb and thus do not have an espresso machine at home) all frothed together in the blender and sprinkled with cinnamon. The result is a rather non-authentic drink, but one that is delicious enough that I don’t care.

Call it cream-of-coffee soup.

I forget where I learned the basic principle of making homemade lattes this way, but it works—for the most part. You heat up a serving’s worth of high-fat milk, stick it in the blender, blend on high speed until it gets all frothy and fluffy, and pour over a bit of very strong coffee. Thus, latte! Even better, it’s cheap.

Though I will admit the mystique of forking over four dollars for a sixteen-ounce beverage is a bit lost on this recipe.

Here’s the recipe.

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Vegan eggnog latte from scratch

Adapted from The Post Punk Kitchen

Ingredients

100 grams • ripe avocado • ½ medium

160 grams • full-fat coconut milk • ½ cup

366 grams • nondairy milk • 1 ½ cups

80 grams • agave nectar • ¼ cup

15 grams • fresh lemon juice • 1 tablespoon

2 grams • vanilla extract • ½ teaspoon

1 gram • nutmeg • ½ teaspoon

0.5 grams • cinnamon • ¼ teaspoon

Pinch cloves

Strongly brewed coffee, hot (or espresso, if you fancy)

Instructions

Make sure avocado and coconut milk are thoroughly chilled before placing in a blender and blending until smooth. Add nondairy milk and remaining ingredients (except coffee) and blend once more.

Add about one latte’s worth of eggnog (½ cup or so) to a small saucepan. Heat over medium heat until bubbling. Add back to the blender and blend until frothy. Pour on top of about a ¼ to a ½ cup of strong coffee; sprinkle cinnamon on top. Drink. Repeat.

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It's delicious, but also kind of emo.

That bottle you see above was originally a vessel for some locally-produced, egg- and cream-filled eggnog; but I’d say we’ve upcycled it with some delicious homemade and very much vegan eggnog. It brings a tear of happiness to my eye just looking at it. Even if my (lack of) photography skills don’t do it any justice.

On a related note—some other hot, delicious drinks to enjoy this winter.

Creamy pumpkin pie white hot chocolate. For those occasions when eating pumpkin pie is just too much work.

Homemade gingerbread eggnog. Based off the same recipe I used here, I’d say this is one of my favorite vegan eggnog recipes to date.

Red velvet white hot chocolate. Artificial food coloring? No shame.