Wicked easy vegan chocolate chip cookies

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: June is a bitch, and therefore gets riled up over the simplest things, one of which is the way folks like to label their recipes ZE BEST without any sort of factual justification for the claim. And we all know only America’s Test Kitchen is allowed to do that.

Zucchini peanut butter chocolate chip mini cakes with vanilla glaze

For this post, I considered writing a long, highly emotional screed about all of the baking failures I’ve experienced in the past month.

But then I thought, screw that, and so you have been spared. It would have been mostly the product of my own depressive delusions anyway.  

Basically, I just want you to know I don’t know what I’m doing.

{Salted} dark chocolate Oreo-stuffed **white** chocolate chip cookie bars with coconut red velvet cheesecake swirls, {walnut} streusel, and *salty* caramelized ~drizzle~, plus sprinkles! #fmlfridays #cookingwithrandomshit #sponserd

These decadent indulgent delicious treats are sure to expand your waistline but they sure don’t taste skinny! They are filled with fresh delicious chocolate and canned pie filling, and taste exactly like the crumbs at the bottom of the cereal box. They are probably the best recipe you’ve never made. It’s a transcendent experience. Like watching Terminator 2 with no pants on and a ketchup stain on your white shirt. Or Cheeto dust. Fuck. I don’t even know.

*Heavy breathing*